as you hugged this new fake friend goodbye, promising to call each other and be best friends forever even though you never would, your arm brushed her breast and your hand skimmed her thigh. Though, she didn’t seem to mind.
I went out tonight to a hens night…. It was messy. There was dancing on tables, straws shaped like penises, horny women (I actually hate that word, “horny”, it makes arousal sound so cheap) bottles of champagne, a sealed off VIP section of some beautifully decorated hipster bar where I felt really old..
It was fun overall, once you looked past the fact that a bunch of ladies that barely knew each other were forced to sit around and make chit chat oohing and aaahing over the bride to be, pretending that if they weren’t stuck together tonight they would be friends in real life.
I kept finding myself staring at their breasts wondering what the variation in cup size was, I estimated we had each size present, from the brides tiny A’s to my double D’s to a set of massive G’s on the heavily pregnant lady. I wondered if she was making milk yet, I contemplated asking her. Or just reaching over mid conversation and grabbing them roughly to see if I could make them squirt hoping she would just continue talking.
I am going to shorten this story by adding that I had an argument over the phone with someone I consider to be “significant” in my life. I am your a-grade straight-from-the-textbook-youngest-child pleaser. I am naturally submissive, I just want to make people happy. I’m not saying I’m not fiesty, I am, I’m brassy and ballsy and an alpha female in most aspects, but I find myself wanting to please in matters of the heart, or the underpants. When this blows up I find myself resorting to old destructive behaviours. There was a time I would do copious amounts of drugs. Smoke myself into a haze and play GTA San Andreas for hours on end. or snort myself happy, drink myself stupid, dance till my high heels had blood trickling out of them. till I had not a care in the world. I am four years sober, so now….my only vice is sex.
eight second clips of butt fucked bookworm bitches, obese women self fisiting, sex and submission, bondage model leg spreader, tit clamp, cunt pump engorged clit
I see it everywhere.
Violent. Self affirming. Sex.
I rubbed up against a blonde man at the bar and felt his erection in my back like a gun.
At the end of the night as everyone hugged and kissed, emotion uncomfortably throbbed inside me.
pulse pulse pulse pulse
I didn’t want to fuck a stranger. I was so well behaved these days. I didn’t do that kind of thing anymore.
pulse beats louder inside me… Starting somewhere in my gut and echoing over my body in waves, louder, harder I sent a text message to my significant saying “don’t call me again tonight. We will talk when you’re sober”.
I go to the convenience store on the walk to a friends house where I’m crashing, it’s 3am and the clerk, a guy, maybe 35-36 years old says “that’ll be-”
i wonder if I could offer to blow him pulsepulsepulse
“thirteen dollars” I would just walk around the counter, looking him straight in the eye, unzip him unflinchingly, get on my knees and pull his half confused already firming up cock
I stare at him, my pink rosebud lips slightly parted, breathing softly, like a kitten fixed on her kill.
“are you alright?” he asks I’d make him cum in under three minutes, I know I could, hand on the base, mouth swallowing from tip till throat pulse is just a hum now, like a haze I need to push through
“miss?” he seems confused but aware of the sexual energy being flung at him, like tangled strands of pink and red reaching through the space between us ready to drown us both when I laugh
“sorry, I just zoned out, so tired! How much again?”
he just looked back at me, now he was the one contemplating making a move on me; his eyes soft and slightly unfocused.
I slapped fifteen bucks on the counter and turned away, sucking all that red and pink with me, in an invisible swirl. the pulse eased, it was just a little whisper inside me,
pulse. pulse. pulse. pulse.
I am now at my friends house, listening to his roommate fuck his girlfriend, it’s 4.18am and again I wrote this on my iphone. I am contemplating just walking into the room next door and-