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Cuntstration. Frustration of the Cunt.

There was a boat, no a ship. And tits. My tits. There was some sort of migraine research project. Can’t stop looking at your hands. There was a cheesy lounge band. There were stolen glances. Then heavy breathing on necks. Accidentally rubbing against one another as we passed in some sort of church isle. I felt my clit throbbing while watching you from across the room. We may have rolled around in my dead grandmothers bed. I feel like a teenage goth retelling this. I don’t even really want to fuck you. But I do. I like the thought of it. I like toying with the idea. Rolling it around my cunt till I’m somewhat satisfied. I get frustrated that I have to keep it to myself. I’d like to talk about it but shouldn’t so I don’t. Cuntstration. Frustration of the cunt.

<i> this thing happens when I think of someone before bed… I dream about them. I usually check twitter/fb before bed so I dream about people I’ve seen there. Anyone else get this?

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I’m ovulating for Easter

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sex dreams

it’s been a while since I posted a sex dream but this one especially sticks out…

It was dark. Sweaty. Smokey. Venues had banned smoking years ago I thought, but why was it so hazy. I could barely breathe. It’s something I grew to hate about gigs, being pressed against other people, so short I couldn’t get air unless I was in the front row. He must have thought I was some fan girl pressed against the stage. I walked away before the set ended into the sea of familiar faces our city drags out to shows year in year out. I’d seen most of these people around for at least ten years but had barely said a word to most. He was no exception. His screaming into a microphone that night made my clit throb, his rolling around made my cunt tighten. I didn’t even know I’d liked him.

Outside later, I sat smoking in the gutter. I don’t even smoke anymore. He came over with friends and started talking. Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb it sounded like. Fuck were his eyes always this intense? Was I on acid? Mushrooms? It’s not 1999 anymore, is it? Im wearing docs and a floral skirt what maybe it is. I walked away again and his fingers tightened around my wrist. It wasn’t even him really. Faceless dream man, but he would flash through when he leant into the light.

Grip so tight I imagined it around my neck, pinning me to the wall. Leaning in to not kiss me, grabbing my arse hard to push up against me. My thigh tilting out and skirt sliding up, underwear wrenched to the side and fingers. Fuck. Fingers. Did finger fucking always feel this good? His grip loosened and he handed me the lighter I’d left on the floor.

If you hang around long enough at a gig at the end of the night the person you’ve been making eyes at will come over and you’ll stumble to the cab rank at the top of the mall and wait in line impatiently pressing your legs together. Usually you play it cool in the cab. His arm around you till you offer to pay and then you’re on his bed. I didn’t wait, I glanced at the cabbie in the mirror, he looked away. I slid over, leaned close, didnt kiss him, lingered around his neck till I looked down and took unlatched his belt.

I didn’t kiss it. I didn’t tease. I took it, half hard already all the way till it hardened in my mouth. I wanted to feel it. Really feel it. Pressing against the back of my throat. My eyes watering, lipstick on his underwear, up and down, hand on the base sliding up and it stinging a little on down, making that half gargle noise that isn’t sexy but made the driver cough.

I taste him now and he leans over, slides his hand over my arse and fingers it lightly. I try to wriggle away, I like to do one thing at a time but he doesn’t let me. Pushing my head downwards with one hand his cock tightens in my mouth and I swallow the salty burn.

We went to his house but are somehow in my room. And he pushes me back on the bed. I wrongly thought it was over. He bites my tit, hard. I wince and hold him tighter. I whisper that I want him inside me, so he slips in a finger. I say I wanted cock, so he slides in another. At some point here things get hazy. I slap him or he slaps me and there’s some sort of European film trickle of blood… It makes me bite hard. His hand does tighten around my neck and fingers deep inside me, two, three, more? Am I getting dream fisted? I want it to hurt. And it does and I’m wet and he is wet and the bed is wet.

He is hard again so I turn around and offer him my behind. He spit on his hand and cock, and spreads me. Fucking me. Slow. Deep. Steady. Hard. Strong hands behind me and itssofuckinggood I slap at my clit. He slides out and into my cunt, all the way. I don’t know why I want him to come inside me. He flips me over and handfuls of hair bring me close. Those fucking eyes again. I think it is the same guy. As I get close my body betrays me and tears start running down my face. I hide them in long hair and already messy mascara. I know explaining that sometimes orgasms make me cry is fucking weird but I want to say BUT IT’S ONLY THE GOOD ONES.

I hold him tight and breathe in his ear. I tell him how badly I want him. Need him to do it.

?

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Just hug and kiss those you love tightly tonight.

Today my brother in law shot himself in the head. In the driveway. He was 9 years older than me. He was a father. He was tall and handsome. He was a tough guy. He was shy.

And aside from the vast plethora of emotions I have towards the incident itself, I can’t help but reflect on how it has effected my relationship. In a short time we have gone from despondent, waiting for it to end, completely uninterested and co-existing - to solid, strong, supportive, unquestionably “there”.

I cooked dinner for my father in law and forced him and my partner to eat, I put the babies to sleep, I wept and held hands, I did the dishes and offered hugs.

The old me was back. This is who I am with those I love. You can hold me up to the light and there’s no transparency. I like to be grounding, I like to be earth to flighty air.

Are these emotions of strong love and support fake? Am I just caught up in this wave of sadness? Or is this how I really feel with all the bullshit life throws at me stripped back?

I’m not sure. I don’t even know if I really want the answer.

I don’t know why I wrote this here, on my sex related blog. But I needed to tell someone(s).

Just hug and kiss those you love tightly tonight.

Tags: me
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let me know if you listen to it, id be curious to see who did

I gave an interview to the lovely Amelia Paxman at 4zzzfm on the topic of abortion.  I discussed my own personal experiences.  

In politics, discussions about women’s choices with regards to their reproductive rights are often devoid of any input from the voices of women who’ve experienced unwanted pregnancy and termination.

Loosely linked to some of Tony Abbot’s comments on abortion from 2004 that have come back to haunt him, this story explores the experience of  a young woman who says she has ‘no regrets’ about either of her termination, and now lives happily with her partner and 9-month-old son.

Posting this is a big deal because not only am I opening up about a topic that is often viewed in a very negative light, but because my name is mentioned, and the interview is carried out non-anonymously. (Which this blog has always been.)

Let me know your thoughts, experiences, or anything else you wish to share?

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"You know the type, she would probably have fucking diamantés on her vibrator. I can’t deal with that high maintenance type girl you know?"

— the whore, on her adventures in lesbianism.

Tags: me
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"if her shorts get any tighter bitch is gonna need to use protection"
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my brother is overseas and is at dinner with his girlfriend about to propose. He just texted me and I’m about to burst with excitement but I can’t post this to real life places (fb or twitter) because it will ruin the surprise. So JOIN ME TUMBLR AS I WAIT UP AND SQUEAK PERIODICALLY IN ANTICIPATION

Tags: me Squeak
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Anonymous asked: hey what do you think about infidelity?

this is funny cos you ask like its such a casual thing, “hey, what time is dinner?” but its actually a question about infidelity which is massive.

see my previous answer to the question about pie and cake? it should be a pretty good indicator that i tend to see lots of grey areas, i dont really come down on the side of black/white and right/wrong.

i can say “infidelity in general is bad”.  great broad generalising statement.  but i can also say who the fuck am i to judge someone if they are being unfaithful to a partner. if i dont know these people, then thats their thing. i cant/wont pass judgement unless i know more about the situation. maybe the other person cheats too? maybe they have an arrangement? maybe the person cheating is in an abusive relationship or has psychological trauma that they havent identified that has led them to lead a self destructive pattern of behaviour ruining things that could/would be really good for them (cough) or maybe the cheater is just a total jerk when it comes to cheating but is a lovely person in every other aspect of their life?  all that would do is make me not date them, and not encourage my pals to date them.  it doesnt make them a monster.  people do “bad” things all the time.

that said yeah generally bad, but we all make mistakes. in the bigger picture, grain of salt, other generalisations etc.

thanks for your casual question! i hope i answered it adequately.

Tags: ask me
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Either my niece is having sex (she lives downstairs of my place) or her cat is murdering a rather large tree climbing goat.

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conversations with a bestie - vagina meat edition

  • him: her vagina kinda smelled like a roast beef sandwich.
  • me: ...... wow. I guess there are worse things it could smell of.
  • him: no I mean literally, like she had rubbed a roast beef and gravy sandwich all over it.
  • me: well, at least tell me you were hungry?
  • him: dude. when did you forget im a vegan?
  • me: another example of why vegans are boring.
  • him: ......
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conversations

  • me: how does she always manage to look like a dishevelled prostitute from the 17th century?
  • him: i dunno. probably her parents. white guilt. copious amounts of opiates.
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conversations with a bestie

  • me - there's this part of me that wishes I was a guy so I could get a blow job from a girl with a gap in her teeth so I could see if I could still get some ejaculate through when she bares her teeth in that fake smile when I come on her mouth.
  • him - tell you what, next time I'm getting a blow job from a gap toothed girl I'll try it and report back.
  • me - you're such a good pal.
  • him - don't tell my girlfriend.
  • me - she has amazing teeth that girl. shame.
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tits on the scanner

when I was 16 taking a photo involved a non-digital camera for which you had to buy film and batteries, you had to get the film developed (usually at kmart) which was expensive and took at least 3 days AND you had to hide them from your mum. Then you had to scan the photos and email them to the boy you really liked from that msn chat room that lived across the world.

So instead I’d put my tits on the scanner.

Old hard drives of mine have several sets of squished teenage boobs on glass in hidden folders.