i write about my dreams here alot. It’s a nice outlet. I’ve had a few awesome dreams, once about this crazy german sex couple that kept wanting to do weird shit.
I have recently had a dream that is kind of fucking with me. It involves white supremacists.
I’m out with my family, my elderly mum and dad going to get an icecream in a tourist area renowned for being packed with diverse cultures when a van with some youths pulls up and they start terrorising people on the street. Beating Asians, pushing Arabs, kicking Africans. They do some serious damage, one guy gets stabbed. Before any authorities can be notified they jump in their van and drive off. I am really scared, but not for myself but for my parents whom I am frantically trying to protect. I get my mum into a nearby macdonalds (?! Dream logic! Maccas must be safe!) to get her out of the way, and run out to find my dad. It’s raining. I’m part crying part angry, throwing futile punches in order to get to the side of the road to secure a cab. I need to get them out. After the white power terrorists leave we are milling around, trying to get home, trying to help strangers, fearful of their return.
I wake up. I need to pee. When I fall asleep again I keep dreaming.
Somehow I have fallen in love with one of the white supremacists. He knows I am not “white” by his definition, knows I am “ethnic” but says he doesn’t care. Says he loves me. It’s not me he has the problem with, it’s them. I hate what he is and I can’t tell him. He hates what I am and he can’t tell me.
We have violent angry sex. He slaps my face in slow motion my head flies back and a speck of blood splatters against the wall. I kiss him hard and bite down on his lip till I taste blood while grinding my cunt against him.
There is hair pulling, there is spitting and hissing and tears. There is lament and love. We are a match made in limbo. I tell him if I were to ever get pregnant to him I’d get rid of it. He tells me he would want that too. We never use protection.
As we drift off at night I’m sure we consider killing each other.